Medieval Medical Practices…definitely not like today, thankfully

Medieval Medical Practices…definitely not like today, thankfully.

In time chivalrous times of long ago when kings and queens ruled the land and their court of lords and ladies where the epitome of elegance and class. They were times where knights would be the saviors and champions of the kingdoms as they led battle after battle and romantically swept the women away on their feet. An era when wizards, dragons and other monsters would attack or defend the castle as part of the struggles that were known as the dark ages. These romantic notions are conjured up based upon Hollywood and the legends and lore of so long ago. No matter the danger at hand or the battle to be fought one thing was clear; the medical practices at the time might have been their worst enemy.

We obviously know that out medical practices in this day an age of technology and scientific advances are much more reliable and successful than back then. The belief of how disease was spread and started could be considered laughable at best, because the last time I checked when I get a stomach pain it isn’t a small troll inside me trying to get out, I have been known to be wrong in the past however.

I, for some odd reason, started to thinking about these medical practices while I was at the hospital about to get surgery on my sinuses and figured what the heck; let’s see what I can find out. To my shock, horror and humor I have found the following.

Hemorrhoids: There was a 7^th century monk who was actually the patron saint for hemorrhoid pain, that saint definitely got the wrong end of the deal on that one. Now get this one, he apparently developed hemorrhoids in his garden and sat on a stone which gave him the magical cure. The stone apparently exists to this day and can me visited by any sufferer looking to sit upon its magical surface for relief and cure. Of course if that did not work then you could always take the other approach which would be to use a red hot poker to burn them away.

Zodiac signs: Another practice was that depending on what astrological sign you were born under the doctor needed to be aware of certain things. If you were a Taurus the doctor should not make incisions in the neck and throat and avoid cutting any veins in this area. Now if you were a Virgo the doctor should avoid cutting open a wound in the belly and internal parts, looks like virgos didn’t last to long in life. Now being a Pisces I had to see what I was forbade from doing, and it looks like my doctor should not cut my feet, look like I make out in this deal of dos and don’ts of this surgical guideline.

Dwale: Dwale is a crude anesthetic used the same way that anesthetic is used today in the operating rooms by relaxing the individual to sleep and pain relief so as not to feel discomfort during surgery. Now that’s great if it weren’t for that fact that Dwale could kill you very easily. It was made up of a combination of lettuce juice, opium, vinegar and gall from a castrated boar, which doesn’t sound all that bad until you add the last ingredient which was hemlock juice. All you Wicca and Shakespeare followers will know hemlock juice from many plays and potions. Hemlock juice is some very serious stuff and attacks the nervous system and is a very affective poison, once symptoms start its usually over as it moves rather fast through the body.

Bloodletting: Bloodletting is the one cure that everyone has pretty much heard about so I won’t spend too much time on this one. It was the practice of cutting veins and letting the toxins within the body to flow out via the blood stream. This in practicality sounds like a viable solution if it were not for the fact that usually you bled to death. They would slice a vein open and let the blood flow, not everyone died, but it was a barbaric treatment to say the least. Now if they were trying to release the toxins after watching the movie Twilight I could completely understand that.

Trepanation: Now some people who know about or heard about this procedure sometimes confuse it with lobotomy. Keep in mind that this is not about removing sections of the front lobe of the brain, this is about drilling holes into your head/skull. This procedures of drilling or cutting a small square into your skull is believed to treat cranial disease or for mystical purposes, depending on what you want to believe. They felt that the evil spirits or demon trapped in the cranial area would be able to escape through the hole that was created, because demons and evil spirits are stupid and couldn’t possibly leave through the ear, nose or mouth…that would be just plain silly. Oh and if you thought this practice had long since gone the way of the Do-Do then you would be wrong, there are some people who still believe in this and some quack un-insured doctors willing to do it too.

Toothache: Some people have had toothaches and some have not, I have been fortunate enough to not have one, but I do know some people who have and they say it’s very painful. So here is a remedy I think should work for everyone that I found in my research plus it will save on dental bills. If you take a candle and burn it close to the tooth that is hurting then the worms, yes I said worms, that are gnawing at the tooth will fall out into a cup of water held close to the mouth and candle. See dentists are such con artists, they tell us we need to floss and brush everyday; how does that keep worms away? No wonder my dentists never told me about the candle trick, he would lose all his business, such a con.

Pimples: I’m not going to spend all that long on this one that I found, mainly because its so bizarre and inhumane, but I’ll touch base on it. A cure for pimples was to take two white puppies, had to be white, and before they could see, you would chop off their heads and then let it drain out by hanging them from their back paws. Once the blood was all out your would mix it with some white wine and then apply it to your face to reduce you pimples. Now 2 things come to my mind about this, first off I guess PETA didn’t exists back then and secondly I am beginning to wonder what Clearasil uses in their formula now.

Now there are a vast amount of other weird medical therapies used such as leeches & maggots, which by the way are actually used in modern hospitals today to help heal cuts and wounds, but for the majority the ancient practices are long gone away. One thing I found interesting was the fact that even though it was the dark ages, they did rely heavily on sterilization by washing wounds and washing and burning medical tools. The diagnosis’s might have been off and some of the remedies not so well planned out, but at least they knew that dirt was bad.

Be safe and remember that candles are better than brushing,
John Cannon

Now boarding all passengers going to Egypt, Mexico & Beyond

I pose a question to you today, why couldn’t ancient man envision airplanes too? Why do we feel as a 2010 society of people that ancient man could not have the same hopes, dreams & desires as we do in this present day? Is it so far-fetched that ancient man would want to soar in the sky amongst the birds just as we have the ability to do today? And is it so out there that societies/cultures across the world could have the same thought and outlook that they couldn’t create their own style of flying machines? OK, so that was more than one question I proposed, but I think you catch my drift in what I’m aiming at.

There are some people out in the UFO community that believe the cultures of Egypt, Mexico, China and others around the world were heavily influenced by aliens from outer space. This is such an arrogant and egotistical approach to looking at our past that it drives me up a wall. Now let me state that I am fascinated by aliens and the possibility of their “existence”, but I have to look at this in an approach that makes sense logically. I would be and willing to believe that aliens exist, but let’s not try and discredit the past of advanced ancient civilizations just because we don’t understand them.

Let’s start at the beginning of recognized aviation history. The first official recognition of aviation began with Leonard Davinci and his flying models and drawings that he created around the 15^th century. We can even go back farther to 200 BC in China when they are first recognized as using kites for military purposes, and last time I checked…kites fly. After the Leonardo Davinic era, man had been pursuing to fly as the birds did till we came to a balloon created by men in France and then to the Wright Brothers. Well that’s all fine and dandy, but why can’t the thought of flight have existed before 200BC? Were the people back then only banging rocks together and making grunt noises until one day…BANG!!!...they could talk intelligently, write and exist on a higher level of existence, I highly doubt this.

In Egypt a small toy was found and it looked a lot like a plane/bird. They claim it isn’t a bird because it fits to closely to a modern day jet and no bird looked like that. I have to admit when you first look at the toy it does look like a modern day jet fighter, but was it, I don’t think so. Do I think it could be an example of a glider that may or may not have been built so man could fly like the birds…yes. They had birds in the day of the dinosaurs, so why is it that man would not want to fly in the air to satisfy their curiosity and desire? They say there is no original idea left in this world and that applies even to the theory of flight. Man probably desired to fly back then just as we do now. The difference is while we have modern machines of electronics and composite metals to give us the ability to fly, ancient man did not have this luxury. Now I do feel ancient man had some types of machines, but nothing to enable them to ability to fly long sustained flights as we do today. I do think however that they did have the materials in order to produce gliders made of light wood so they could fly for short periods of flight. Making a glider is not all that difficult if the basic understanding of flight, air currents and mass/weight ratio is understood. In Egypt these people made the pyramids out of practically nothing as they did in Mexico and in China they made gunpowder and fireworks…these were not stupid people. These were people driven by purpose, faith and desire. So the idea of them making a glider based upon the design of an already established flying machine, aka a bird, should be pretty easy to accept.

The story of the Egyptian toy glider plane found is essentially the same exact story as that of the ancient America’s, ie. Mexico with the Mayans, Aztecs, Olmecs and more. These people believed in Gods of higher powers just as the Egyptians did. They lived in a rain-forest situation which was flourishing with many different animals and birds, the key word being birds. They too probably felt the same dreams and desires to fly in the sky like birds in order to be closer to their Gods that they so firmly believed in. A small intricate design was found not unlike the Egyptian glider toy, not only did they find a small glider like model they found it engraved into their walls and monuments, again just like similar carvings and hieroglyphics found in Egypt. Now I can talk about the aspect of pyramids in both cultures, but that is for another time and debate.

One of the one facts that keep coming up with people is; well if they did create such machines such as gliders then where is the evidence? Why can’t we find any trace of these gliders existing? My answer is: are you stupid? You are sitting there with these ancient little glider toys in your hand and you say there is no evidence, how dumb can you be. It’s like a little kid holding the baseball bat in his hand and saying he has no clue how the baseball broke the window. Now why aren’t there any artifacts of the big gliders themselves, well if you look at the ancient sites, very little has survived due to years of erosion and poor artifact collecting due to tomb raiders, and not the Laura Croft kind either. And who knows, maybe there are artifacts left out there and we just haven’t been able to find them yet because we aren’t looking in the right place.

It should not be hard to believe that people who lived practically in the middle of nowhere who were able to construct enormous cities and do complex math and astronomy would be able to understand the concept of flight. I feel without a shadow of a doubt that these two cultures as well as others were able to create gliders and envision themselves being able to fly like birds and be close to their Gods. To think we are the only society and culture to desire the ability to fly and work at achieving that goal is very arrogant on our part. Let’s just remember one key fact; we rely on computers and calculators to do complex match problems to do architecture and astronomy. These cultures of people did this without such modern day electronics…that is until we find they created electronics as well…which may be possible, lol.

Be safe & remember that you may not be as smart as you think you are or at least as smart as our ancient forefathers,
John Cannon