Spending A Night with "The Boys Next Door"...wait...err...it's a Movie!!

The Boys Next Door review

1985

With the Holidays approaching, everyone is reviewing Christmas movies...but not THIS guy...(I will probably review one next week..this is a phony claim that will fail to impress anyone). In a drunken Holiday stupor spree of searching for films...I stumble upon my long lost friend....The Boys Next Door.

The Boys Next Door stars Charlie Sheen, years before he had Tiger's Blood and was from Space...or whatever he claims made and Maxwell Caulfield...way before anyone could celebrate Rex Manning Day (Oh yeah, I was a card carrying member of that fan club). This duo portray Bo and Roy, a twosome that are fresh out of high school and are ready to have a killer weekend.

Before we start with my thoughts and praise of this film, I want to note that Penelope Spheeris is behind the lens for this gem. Yes, the same Penelope Spheeris that brought Waynes World into my life, yes...the same Penelope Spheeris who was responsible for The Beverly Hillbillies movie..wait, she may not want me to tell anyone. Seriously, she does an Amazing job in building suspense and uses her camera angles and lighting perfect. For the time, 1985, I look back at this and smile. One scene where Roy and Bo have crashed a Graduation party...Roy (Caulfield) is sitting pool side...staring and you can see the pain and hate on his face. Great use of dramatic music inserts also. The opening montage of Serial Killers is chilling and used properly to set the tone for this film. She knocked this one out of the park...can't believe this movie doesn't get more praise.

We get a glimpse of home life for Bo and Roy, neither are good...Bo (Sheen) is loved but seems to be an after thought, while Roy looks to be the victim of a drunken Father who probably wasn't afraid to beat his ass when provoked. Driving a primed RoadRunner, Bo and Roy decide they want to have a mini vacation before reporting to the town factory to enter adult, humdrum life....and head to California.

Roy confesses to Bo..."I have stuff inside of me". That stuff is Hate and Evil. Roy wastes no time in starting his crime spree, while Bo..watches but quickly gives into the evil joyride and partakes in his own dastardly deeds. From smashing beer bottles over old ladies heads, to killing a Gay man, even stalking and murdering a girl and her boyfriend...these guys go off the deep end. I am telling you, this movie advances one crime after another..very easily. The soul searching that Sheen expresses emotional and through facial expressions are tremendous. Plus, Caulfield is Awesome in this movie...I might even watch Grease 2 now, after this performance (ok, probably not).

With the FBI and LAPD hot on their tail, Bo and Roy have no where to run. Plus, a young Shooter MaGavin (Christopher McDonald) plays the role of the sympathetic, trying to understand detective that doesn't understand the evil. He does a good job here and they portray both sides of the Police, the rugged/gritty side, plus the guys who feel for the victims.

In Closing.....

Treat my VHS better or DIE!!

I know, this review is full of ramblings, misguided points and unfunny , unwitty drivel...I can't help it! I had this movie on VHS during my Senior year of High School (1988). I wore this video out!! I watched this so many times...easily a movie that helped shape me...kidding. I think it opened a door into horror for me, that I had never seen before. It's not a slasher film that I loved in the 80's, this was before I understood the greatness of a Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, I was only exposed to greats like Dawn of the Dead..like, Halloween...this was a fresh burst of hatred and murder! You know what would make me kill someone? See that video <---- on the left side? If someone treated my VHS like that. I would kill them too!!

This is currently streaming on Netflix, it's a MUST see...I know, you will enjoy it too..you have too...it's Christmas!! I need to re-buy this VHS..just to have it, plus Buy the Dvd...you hear me gift buyers? I NEED this! Anyways...Happy Shopping.



This is gonna SUCK - SUCK gets reviews by the PIG!

This is gonna SUCK! Not Really!

SUCK
Written and Directed by:Rob Stefaniuk

reviewed by : Pigamortis Wrex

Ello piglets. I'm sure you all know by now, your zombie pig pal is none to fond of the vampire genre and actually goes out of his way to avoid vampire films. (Blacula aside) Our story opens on a struggling band "The Winners" who just can't quite get the big break they are lookin for. After a gig in a dive bar and the the cute female bassist, Jennifer (Jessica Pare) leaves with fella who looks like a cross between a demonic Carrot Top and Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter, finds that her one night stand turns into more than she bargained for. I must say that the party scene was rather cool, as short as it was. Jennifer shows up for sound check the next day paled out creepy eyes and all. We can all figure out what happened, no? At the gig that night, Jennifer rocks out on the bass and the crowd absolutely is enthralled by her new look. It appears her new vampiness gives her that lil something the band has been lacking all these years. It seems their time has arrived. You know, come to think of it... I think this is how No DOUBT got their start.

Enter Eddie Van Helsing (Malcolm McDowell)seeking revenge on the head vamp, "Queenie". As you can guess, chaos and blood sucking wackiness ensues.
This is a solid film and LOTS of fun. Seriously, i enjoyed it from beginning to end and Writer, Director, and Star Rob Stefanuk has something to be proud of. This is a definite thumbs up. Solid acting and great supporting roles by McDowell and Alice Cooper as well as hysterical cameos by Henry Rollins, Iggy Pop, Moby and Dave "Kids in the Hall" Foley. Suck not only delivers in the comedy arena but there is plenty of blood. While its not a gorefest by any means, it has enough of the sauce and some cool special FX to keep fans happy. The transitions were reminiscent of a GUITAR HERO goes to Hell, which I completely liked. It had updated elements of the classic Dracula story right down to its French/Canadian version of Renfield.
Well done Mr. Stefanuk.

 

I can honestly say i don't have a bad thing to say about this movie, DESPITE it being a Vampire movie. Its soundtrack was well done (it may not be my particular flavor of music but it did well) and it was shot extremely well. I can make a thousand analogies and comparisons to a thousand other vampire movies... but they don't deserve the comparisons. Suck delivers. It does what movies should, it entertains!
Just remember, "Never trust a god damn vampire!"