To stand up or sit down.

Well, here we are again...the internal debate that has been going back and forth in my head since I was nine years old. Stand Up Comedy. Imagine this; a nine year old kid reading a Steve Allen book, titled How to Be Funny. I had hopes and dreams of being the next Rodney Dangerfield, as I sat watching HBO comedy specials and the Gong Show. Obviously, after all that...I'm still wondering how to be funny.

Let's jump ahead to 2011-2012, the dream almost became a reality. Open mic's had become a very real option and I was actually being requested to come to a few. I had several comedians offering to mentor me, show me the ropes and go over my material. So, what happened? Honestly, life happened. I had personal problems at home, was struggling with who or what I was and just wasn't coping well. This should've been great material, instead, I just backed off and went a different direction. I turned to filmmaking.


Filmmaking ended up becoming a blessing in disguise. I found a voice and a happiness that I had never really thought possible. I was able to have an outlet and express emotions and touch on deep hidden horror that was within me. I love horror and this was a dream to achieve, for sure. Besides comedy, I grew up a monster kid. For me, depression and horror went hand and hand. They were a couple. When I was miserable, I wrote about loss, I jotted down people who lived behind closed doors with terrible secrets. Then, the sun began to shine....

The clouds split and the days were filled with happiness. Sounds corny, Right? It's true. I broke through the depression and found out who I was again. I still struggle day to day but I do feel better. I won't ever recover 100% but I'll do my best to keep my sanity in check.

Three months ago, I finally pulled the trigger and got started on youtube. I started to post videos about what made me happy and then I started to think about developing some characters that bounced around in my head. I started to write and work on weird shit that might make me laugh or that I would watch. Sure, I know I'm not normal, but this was where my head was leaning towards. So, I'm doing a form of improv and comedy. I'm creating content that hopefully makes you laugh a little, between Acting with Andy and Petey Panda, its all a work in progress. More characters are coming, so be patient.

Lately, I have been thinking about a possible live stage show or even performing stand up comedy. The debating, within my head, along with the voices have begun. At age 45 3/4, do I bother learning another craft that will, no doubt, be tough? Throughout my life, I've been fortunate to have some success in a few things..obviously success is different for everyone. For me, its simple, just don't suck.

The live stage show is a possibility. Stand up is possible. I guess I will wait and see where Youtube takes me. Thanks for reading.

Randy the Ram is a piece of Sh*t

Maybe I'm just hyper sensitive after spending 16 years in the world of professional wrestling, but man, I watched The Wrestler yesterday and thought to myself "Randy the Ram is a real A-Hole". Now, its been a while since I've watched the Darren Aronofsky cult indie film The Wrestler, starring Mickey Rourke. It happened to be playing on HBO and I turned it on and it really hit home.


Let me clear the air, in all honesty, I really like this movie but this is just a rant about how damn good of a written character Randy the Ram is, and really how great Rourke portrays him. I remember first seeing this movie and thinking about how relatable the character is to some people I know. I hate how poorly professional wrestling is portrayed by most films, well except Ready to Rumble, but even that, Jimmy King was a bum.

Ok, so let's look at what makes up such a miserable piece of shit like Randy the Ram:

Horrible Father - Ok, midway through the movie, Randy (Robin as his birth name) develops a heart and wants to rehab his relationship with his daughter. This relationship is rocky and she even let's him know that he is, in fact, a piece of shit. In the end, he chooses himself over her and that bridge is burnt.

Selfishness - Yep, as an entertainer/wrestler, Randy is a selfish bastard. He loves the limelight. Sure, his best days are behind him and now he is forced to shill his name value to small, shitty independent feds. Randy, only knowing wrestling as his life style is a constant worker in this film, from not walking away to lying about his health, potentially dying in the ring. You almost want to feel bad for him but I've seen this person, many times within wrestling. In his eyes, he has nothing to live for but the cheers and while you might think "awe man, he loves us", he doesn't. This is part of his selfishness.


Junkie - Ok, while you might think, "he really only did some steroids", the list of shit he put into his body was staggering. Not to mention recreationally doing drugs and probably a borderline alcoholic, Randy does all kinds of growth hormones but draws the line at "that Chinese shit". Again, I know people and have lost friends who are JUST like this!! Aronofsky really did his homework and it hurts a little to watch.


Whore - Randy is a whore. He is obsessed with Marisa Tomei who portrays a stripper, but unlike Randy, she is trying to get out to make a better life for her and her son. The Ram is a part of the sickness and can not escape. He hates everything in his life except wrestling.


Now that I have dismantled Randy the Ram, remember, I truly do like this movie. This was me picking apart the character design and honestly admiring, not only the realism but the portrayal. This movie has you glued from the start to the finish....

Speaking of the finish...I'm always curious what YOU think happened? Remember, Randy climbs to the top rope, about to deliver the Ram Jam on the Ayatollah and while he is looking around, right as he jumps....we go black. Did he win and live happily ever after? Did he die and leave his mark on wrestling for dying in the ROH ring? You tell me what You think.

Until next time...Ram Jams for everyone.

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