Complete Mental Breakdown Caught on Tape!!!

This week, as we approach my 46th birthday, looks like no other. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the person staring back at me. He looks like he's been through the ringer, so to speak. 

The mentality of, age is just a number, just begins to blend in after a while. We start to question our own mortality. We wonder if we have "all our ducks in a row" so when we pass, we know who gets stuck with all our crap. 

Not to sound bleak, but when we filmed this week's Dimension Chat, things spiraled out of control and I had a bit of a break down...luckily, the cameras were rolling and you get to watch...sickos. 

Also this week, if you missed it, we made the announcement that we will begin production on a new monthly program. This has been in my mind for about a year now. If you remember, I used to host a program called Late Night at the Horror Hotel, which used to be the title of this blog, if you noticed. We were horror hosts and were fortunate to have been in homes all across the country. It was a lot of fun and I have always been drawn back to that type of entertainment and creativity. So, from this, Count Clowny was born. I figure this will be a great way to showcase all of our programming into one show, while still providing weekly content. I imagine you will see even more characters debut plus all the regulars like Acting with Andy, Dimension Chat, Petey Panda and even some eating challenges, plus additional things like horror shorts and fake commercials.

While we are here, we might as well share this week's Acting with Andy. Andy Pyles is a special type of guy. He truly believes he knows everything, except there is a detour between his brain and his mouth. Typically, he ends up saying things he doesn't quite grasp, although he stands behind it all.

This week Andy films his infomercial for "Reviewing Movies" except I'm not sure if Andy knows how to review movies. You'll see that Andy provides info about your entire movie going experience. If you have a blog and you're a movie reviewer, then this dvd is a "Must Buy", or something. Without further ado, here is our boy Andy.


If you enjoyed this, remember you can watch every week on our Youtube page http://www.youtube.com/RobDimension plus you can follow us at all the links, provided below. Hope you guys have a great week and enjoy life!

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Randy the Ram is a piece of Sh*t

Maybe I'm just hyper sensitive after spending 16 years in the world of professional wrestling, but man, I watched The Wrestler yesterday and thought to myself "Randy the Ram is a real A-Hole". Now, its been a while since I've watched the Darren Aronofsky cult indie film The Wrestler, starring Mickey Rourke. It happened to be playing on HBO and I turned it on and it really hit home.


Let me clear the air, in all honesty, I really like this movie but this is just a rant about how damn good of a written character Randy the Ram is, and really how great Rourke portrays him. I remember first seeing this movie and thinking about how relatable the character is to some people I know. I hate how poorly professional wrestling is portrayed by most films, well except Ready to Rumble, but even that, Jimmy King was a bum.

Ok, so let's look at what makes up such a miserable piece of shit like Randy the Ram:

Horrible Father - Ok, midway through the movie, Randy (Robin as his birth name) develops a heart and wants to rehab his relationship with his daughter. This relationship is rocky and she even let's him know that he is, in fact, a piece of shit. In the end, he chooses himself over her and that bridge is burnt.

Selfishness - Yep, as an entertainer/wrestler, Randy is a selfish bastard. He loves the limelight. Sure, his best days are behind him and now he is forced to shill his name value to small, shitty independent feds. Randy, only knowing wrestling as his life style is a constant worker in this film, from not walking away to lying about his health, potentially dying in the ring. You almost want to feel bad for him but I've seen this person, many times within wrestling. In his eyes, he has nothing to live for but the cheers and while you might think "awe man, he loves us", he doesn't. This is part of his selfishness.


Junkie - Ok, while you might think, "he really only did some steroids", the list of shit he put into his body was staggering. Not to mention recreationally doing drugs and probably a borderline alcoholic, Randy does all kinds of growth hormones but draws the line at "that Chinese shit". Again, I know people and have lost friends who are JUST like this!! Aronofsky really did his homework and it hurts a little to watch.


Whore - Randy is a whore. He is obsessed with Marisa Tomei who portrays a stripper, but unlike Randy, she is trying to get out to make a better life for her and her son. The Ram is a part of the sickness and can not escape. He hates everything in his life except wrestling.


Now that I have dismantled Randy the Ram, remember, I truly do like this movie. This was me picking apart the character design and honestly admiring, not only the realism but the portrayal. This movie has you glued from the start to the finish....

Speaking of the finish...I'm always curious what YOU think happened? Remember, Randy climbs to the top rope, about to deliver the Ram Jam on the Ayatollah and while he is looking around, right as he jumps....we go black. Did he win and live happily ever after? Did he die and leave his mark on wrestling for dying in the ROH ring? You tell me what You think.

Until next time...Ram Jams for everyone.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel: www.youtube.com/RobDimension

Rob Dimension's Shock & Wrestling Podcast #7

Rob Dimension's Shock & Wrestling Podcast #7

This week on the Shock and Wrestling Podcast, Rob Dimension goes off on a rant while Matt Barnes can only listen (poor Matt). They talk about Kevin Smith and Favorite Murders in movies. The lists are interesting.

Then the conversations turn to the best talkers in Professional Wrestling. The guys close the show, but then give you their opinions about the new Godzilla 2014 film. Follow them on Twitter @RobDimension and @TheMattBarnes and use #ShockNWrestling 

Introducing - Dimension Monster Chronicles (coming soon)

Dimension Monster Chronicles

Filming this weekend, Dimension Monster Chronicles will be something a little new and kind of the same. Yeah, confusing right? Kim and Rob Dimension, the couple who, last year began a new type of review show. Tired of the same old, basic, guy in front of a camera review, they started using puppets, humor, clips and showing their "unique" love for each other in the process. Getting some attention, the couple decided it's time to work a little harder this time around...but, with a twist.

Rob had an idea (we know, very rare) to change things up a bit...what if...Dimension was a Monster dealing with Monster issues, while still reviewing movies and products? At the same time, while dealing with trying to become human again and trying to get along with Hack and Danny Pickle..this could be fun. If anything spells fun, it's puppets....or maybe it's a creepy thing, either way, the couple is excited.

Rob, who voices all the puppets, plus writes, edits and directs the process had this too say; "I love working with Kim, we had gotten some good reviews for our reviews..haha...and I figured I could step back a little and work on producing a fun concept. She has a dry sense of humor and gets where the joke is going. We want to create an awareness of what people might be missing, or simple forgot about." When asking Kim, she says "I'm not an actress..I just do this to have fun and I've fallen in love with some of these puppets personalities, especially Danny Pickle. He's such a Momma's boy, I forget that Rob is behind it...I have so much fun."

That sums up the project, as the key word is FUN. Rob closed with this "I think it's safe too say, we won't win any awards, we will be thankful to those who tune in and watch, even if it's just us. The episodes will have run times of 3-10 minutes, based on what we are talking about or doing....we also have a Villain that will make his presence known."

Right now, stay tuned to http://www.robdimension.com/ until we launch http://www.dimensionmonsterchronicles.com/ within the next few weeks. The episodes will be every few weeks...we look forward to seeing you guys!

Motorhead? NOOOOOOO Machine Head! movie review

Motorhead? NOOOOOOO Machine Head!

Machine Head (2000)(released 2004)

Director: Leonard Murphy/ Michaal Patrick

Reviewed by : Pigamortis Wrex

Hello Piglets. This installment I bring to you a classic in the making. An ubridled tale of science vs. religion, man vs. the elements, a tale of a modern day Prometheus. Man's conquest to no longer be restrained by the chains of life and death set for us by a higher power... Ok, no i'm getting a lil crazy here. This is a movie about a nerd who with his PC and a 4 stroke engine, brings a fella back to life. Think Weird Science meets Reanimator meets Revenge of the Nerds, without all that pesky budget to get in the way. While this movie is far from stellar, it is a solid film that just suffers a bit from the lack of budget. Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying you can't have a great film with no budget. I'm just saying that in my opinion, this movie could have been SO much more. Maybe I expect too much? I'm hardly knocking it, it was an ambitious outting. They just didn't hit the mark.


Lets go over our ingredients list for this stew. One leading man, Max Kelp (Josh Walitt)is your stereotypical genius/nerd kid who everyone picks on and never gives any respect to. Stir in the jocks who constantly bully Max and throw in the overbearing, God-fearing, unsupportive father (who happens to run a funeral home... how convienient), sprinkle friends and family of the cast and crew in as extras, a $25,000 college scholarship, thats right the folks in this High School class would give Andrea Zuckerman a run for her money (kudos to those who get that reference) annnnd lets not forget the innocent, unknowing (and likely uninterested) love interest, mix vigorously and let simmer for 79 minutes and you have the makings of a movie called MACHINE HEAD.

This has all the earmarks of the classic Frankenstien tale. Fella invents a process to reanimate the dead. Reverse Impulse Bypass Manipulation in which he uses his a 4 stroke motor attached to the corpses head (Thus Machine Head) and uses his computer to pump digital signals to replace the lost synapse. Its really a very plausible premise. I s'pose as plausible as any reanimation story. Needless to say Max loses control of his creation and things go from bad to worse when Machine Head runs amock on the town. Like all creations gone wild stories, as the movie progresses we realize that Machine Head really isn't that much of a monster. 

Just misunderstood. Aren't all monsters??

Kudos to Rich Cowden for playing a believable and a rather likeable Machine Head. As always I won't give away any spoilers in this review, but the end has a twist worth of M. Night Shamalamawhatever. The gore was low in this movie, they could have really made a niche for itself if they let the blood flow a bit more. One thing this movie had goin for it was that it never took itself too seriously, which is one of the downfalls of most low budget movies these days. Its the use of the comedy that keeps this movie from being an utter failure.
So what i'm saying is if you get hold of this dvd, give it a watch. Its a fun movie, but just don't expect much.

Movie Review - My Soul to Take 3-D

My Soul to Take 3D 

reviewed by : Michael K. Snyder

After reading countless reviews on how terrible Wes Craven’s newest vision was, I decided I needed to see it for myself. Now, let me start this off by stating that I hate 3D, and the only other 3D film I’ve seen in theaters was Piranha 3D, which I loved.  But, since I’m such a devout fan of Mr.Craven, I decided to give his 3D vision a shot. 

The film is old-school Craven, and his genius shines through in every frame. Everyone whose review states how terrible the acting was in this film should be tied up and barbecued in their backyards. This is a cast of mainly young actors and actresses who are portraying high school students, and their dialogue represents their state of mind. Of course they aren’t going to be quoting some great English scholars, the main character is only 16! They speak to each other like teenagers, they act like teenagers, and Wes Craven obviously has a lot of experience working with young actors.  

Each frame in this film was textbook film-making; foreground, middle ground and background. Wes clearly shows his worth in these shots because each looks like it was crafted for hours. I felt like I was watching something from one of my film classes about framing the perfect shot.  

The story of My Soul to Take isn’t very straightforward and that may turn some viewers off. Craven doesn’t just hand you the plot and treat you like an idiot, but instead he releases key points ever so often to keep the viewer guessing. Maybe his film is just too smart for the average moviegoer? I wouldn’t doubt it. Wes uses his psychology background and great storytelling skills to craft a masterpiece that is just too intricate and thought provoking for the usual horror film viewer. 

The violence in My Soul to Take isn’t quite as intense as something like Hatchet, or many old school 80s slashers fueled by Savini’s genius. It is, however, effective for the type of film Wes was trying to make. He was trying to make an intelligent horror film, nothing over the top. Actually, many of the scenes and situations portrayed in the film made me feel like this would have been A Nightmare on Elm Street had Wes remade it. There is even a scene, which features red lights, a boiler room like environment and multiple Freddy moments. As a huge fan of Freddy, these little scenes made me smile.   

Overall, I think moviegoers should give Craven’s latest venture a shot, but ONLY if they are old enough to use their minds while watching a horror film.  I feel like if Wes hadn’t made this film and it was made in a foreign market, people would be praising it for its smart storytelling and great cinematography. Maybe I just look too deep into things, but to me this film was smart, scary and fun.

 

Michael K. Snyder is a student filmmaker in Winter Park, Florida. When he's not in class he is working on screenplays, short films, working with Rob and the Late Night Crew and anything film related to keep him busy. He is always looking for work and is currently seeking an agent or any form of representation. If you are interested in working with Michael please email him at mksnyder1990@gmail.com

Cannibal Flesh Riot - It's a Riot baby!!!!

It's a Riot, baby!

Cannibal Flesh Riot (2006)

 

Reviewed by :Pigamortis Wrex

Director: Gris Grimly

Time: 29-35 minutes (depending on which cut you get)

This is one of thee most original and entertaining movies your ole pal Pigamortis has seen in quite a long time. The directorial debut of a talented fella, Gris Grimly and Mad Creator Productions. Made on a humble budget of approximately $6,000 it reaches and delivers far beyond what its budget would normally allow.
This film has more to offer in its 30 minutes than most "Big Budget/Studio" films have delivered in recent years.





Its a loving tale of two backwoods, good ole boys, Stash and Hub out in search of a meal... Did i mention that they are ghouls? Thats right, eaters of the dead. They travel into the local graveyard in hopes of digging up some freshly buried eats. I won't give any spoilers here but needless to say, hilarity ensues. Along with some well written Kevin Smithian dialog about condiments, the movie delivers on every level.



What most got my attention was the stylized, slick look of the whole movie. Shot in black and white and even the use of some outstanding animation, this was a mix of the fantasy/horror elements of Tim Burton meets Cabinet of Dr. Caligary meets Lovecraft. Along with a kick ass soundtrack featuring an original score composed by Peter Sandorff (Mad Sin/Nekromantix) and Jeppe Jessen of Hola Ghost. PLUS the discs are LOADED with extras! Commentaries (not 1 but 2!), bloopers, music, featurettes, this one has got it all, piglets! Did I mention Blitzkid doing the title track "CANNIBAL FLESH RIOT"?


Now this pig hardly ever does this but I say you all need to get your asses over to www.madcreator.com pick up a copy of this film. Whether you're a fan of horror, or an aspiring filmmaker. This is a MUST! It shows you just what you can do with some originality, talent and some drive in a genre which needs all 3. Head on over and give Gris a shout, check out his art and other projects they are workin on. Give them your love and support... and your money! We need to support those who genuinely deserve it and basing my opinion on this project, Gris and the folks at Mad Creator Productions indeed deserve it!

After Dark Horrorfest strikes again!

After Dark Horrorfest strikes again!

Kill Theory 

Reviewed by Pigamortis

Director: Chris Moore

Call me a glutton for punishment, I like to consider myself an optimist. I'm a glass half full type of pig. I'm always lookin for that silver lining. Yeah thats my story and I'm stickin to it. Which is why I keep watching these After Dark Horrorfest suckfests! I keep hoping I am gonna see one that really does something innovative and exciting. *Looking at my watch* Still waiting, since its inception in 2006. 8 films to die for at 4 years, thats 32 films that had a shot at making me go "AWESOME!", "WOW", or at least "That didn't suck" At least they are consistent, The streak continues.*ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*

 

Kill Theory is however a slightly different take on the traditional slasher and mixing it with the oh so popular "SAW" flavor of the mastermind killer, without all those oh so interesting traps.(Cash in while people care, I suppose) A group of uber close college buds out for their last party weekend go to their pal's dad's cabin. Its here they toast their friendships and how much each one means to one another and basically sets up like every other killer in the woods flick. We have some rather forgettable character building and back story and then WHAM! 

 

 

We're hit with the gimmick that they banked on saving the movie. An apparently all seeing/all knowing psycho has them trapped in the house and sends a chilling message of "Kill your friends by 6am or I will". 

Now this IS an interesting twist, but hardly one that holds the rest of the movie afloat. Even with such horror greats as Agnes"Vacancy 2" Bruckner, Taryn "Crossroads"(The Britney Spears not the Ralph Maccio/Steve Vai vehicle) Manning, and Kevin "Strangeland" Gage (way too briefly), its really hard to care about any of them and you find yourself saying "If that was me, i'da killed all of you d-bags within 5 minutes of the first message from the killer."

 

This film WILL however have you and your pals watching it hypothetically asking one another "dude, what would you do if that happened to us?" The premise of friends having to kill one another face to face is interesting but it just falls short of being a "WOW, WHAT A THRILL RIDE". The film was shot well and the blood was passable (see fireplace poker.) But to this little piggie, its just a revamp of a slasher flick with the big "TWIST" at the end that noone would have seen coming because, well noone is that good at being cliche.
So maybe next years crop of "Films to Die for" won't kill me via boredom. I won't hold my breath.

Late Night now looking for Horror and Paranormal writers!!!

Late Night at the Horror Hotel is expanding!! Writers Wanted

Starting in November, Late Night at the Horror Hotel, is looking to provide more info, news, reviews and articles about Horror and The Paranormal. This is where you come in...are you a writer? Are you interested in writing for us? 

Our site is growing everyday, our fanbase is always climbing and our views on this site are always getting higher. We want to get more information about Horror and the Paranormal out there for the people to read and learn about.

Horror - We are looking for 2-3 Horror writers. Topics can be reviews, news, interviews or any general Horror related topics. We will ask that you submit 2 articles per week, or more if you want, and these will be placed up on our site. The site is family friendly, mostly, so please keep the language clean, if you have a topic that is intense, just let me know...we really want to focus on the Underground Horror, movie reviews, Convention reports...we are here to promote Horror.

Paranormal - We are looking for 1-2 Paranormal writers. Topics can cover Urban Legends, Theories, Fact or fiction type, Ghost Investigation topics, places of interest, Paranormal Movie reviews...The Paranormal interest is at an all time high, so with Late Night at the Horror Hotel introducing our new Investigative series, this is a perfect chance to get in on the ground floor. We ask that you submit 2 articles per week. We want to know what makes you neck hair stand up...what gives you the creeps or what you believe in. 

If Interested - Email Rob at RobDimension@msn.com - I will give you details. This is just another way that Late Night at the Horror Hotel is raising the bar on what we do! 

Dr. Terror reviews our show and calls us "The Hee Haw of Horror"

Dr. Terror calls us "The Hee Haw of Horror"

In 1969, Hee Haw made an impact that changed the landscape of TV Land. The Variety/Humor show set the pace for what people enjoyed....why am I telling you about Hee Haw? Well, Dr. Terror, from Dr. Terror's Blog of Horror, recently reviewed our Tv show and likened us to the cult classic icon in Country Music TV...Hey, he could have said The Lawrence Welk Show.

Am I flattered? Of course...here are some other notables from the review:

"These guys are succeeding at resurrecting the comedy of Laurel & Hardy and/or Abbott & Costello only taking it to a very dark and magical place. Rob Dimension loves his physical comedy and is a master in the art of masochism (I've seen him blow himself up and cut his own hand off... that's dedication). Chef John will entice and dice your taste buds with some of the most interesting sounding meal preps I've ever heard (Armadillo eggs? yes please!). What you've got here is a combination of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 with Dinner and Movie and add some jokes straight out of the Munsters/Vampira/Zacherly playbook for garnish. It's like a variety show"

"There's a stake sandwich (yes, I spelled that correct) and an undying commitment to the love of schlock. Rob and John choreograph an entire military campaign against Gammera using army men and a toy replica and teach the audience how to cook something totally strange. This kind of entertainment is destined to jump off cable access and straight to AMC."

Thanks again to the good Doctor for watching and enjoying the show. To read his entire review, make sure you head over to DR. TeRRoR's BLoG oF HoRRoR and tell him we sent ya over!!!  Hahaha...Hee Haw... 

[Rec 2] Review - As good as the first??

[Rec 2] Movie Review

by: Rob Dimension

Well, I finally got to see Spanish Horror film [REC 2], the sequel to the 2007 Hit [REC] and reason the US made Quarantine, this weekend. After all the hype, plus after being blown away by the original, I have been hunting around and it fell into my lap...courtesy of www.Diabolikdvd.com. 

The original dealt with a different storyline than the American remake, Possession vs Rabies. [REC] was amazing, while many scenes were shot very similar, Quarantine just couldn't match [REC]...plain and simple. [REC] was much more creepy and just had a better "Scary" feel.Once Part 2 was announced, I just had to see it.

[REC 2] takes place immediately after [REC] finishes. The search and recovery team is headed into the Apt building but quickly realize that the supposed "Virus" is a little different that an "Air borne" disease, they thought they were controlling. The leader of the group, turns out to be a Priest and is now searching for the "Host" of this Possession type virus. This becomes fun for the viewer, without being able to Kill each "infected" person, plus a handful of kids...the group must now try to draw blood to test. The mission is find the host, test the blood and make it out ALIVE!!

This film is well worth looking for. Plenty of "Jump" scenes, some great camera angles and I am totally digging the "Possession" over Rabies. If you enjoyed Quarantine (and I really did...it was a really good, fun film), do yourself a favor...find [REC] and watch it. [REC 2] does not disappoint and is well worth the time to seek it out (It's not hard to find, I'm just lazy).

Repo The Genetic Opera - My review comes in a little glass vial

So, since people were talking about this last night on my Facebook, I wanted to go ahead and re post  this review I did for Repo last February. Have a look:

Repo – The Genetic Opera Review

by Rob Dimension

It’s been years since Horror fans had a musical to grab on to; our “go-to” guy was always “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”. Truly a classic. Horror fans lately,  have to deal with being subjected to horrible remakes, lousy, no frills DVD releases and just terrible PG-13 dribble. This review will probably be all over the place, simply because I am actually excited about this one…so much stuff to get out…a serious Horror geek out.


In 2008 a little musical designed for Horror fans slipped under many radars including my own. Repo – The Genetic Opera was dubbed “Goth Opera”, while that might be a generalized opinion, it does not do this film justice. The original price tag of $19.99 was probably what made many opt to pass on this, look we are all afraid to even spend $15 on non-sense, trust me...I have been down this road before. I make these decisions weekly in front of the DVD section. I try to give many low budget, independent filmmakers a chance. Those that know me, really do know this to be true. I have written numerous reviews for all levels of Horror films, including some amazing films that I have pimped out over the years. Repo won me over, 90 minutes of grave robbing, murder, blood and guts…and of course song.


Repo has a decent cast of some fairly new comers like Alexa Vega (Spy Kids, The Sleepover) and Ogre to media queen Paris Hilton (Simple Life, House of Wax) to veteran actors like Anthony Steward Head from Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame, Bill Moseley who is known by Horror fans for his portrayal of Otis in House of 1,000 Corpses and Devils Rejects) and Paul Sorvino (Goodfellas).


Synopsis - Repo is the story of a not-so distant worldwide epidemic of organ failures that just affect the entire planet. Out of this tragedy emerges a savior: Geneco, a bio-tech company that offers organ transplants …for a price. Those who miss their payments are scheduled for repossession… and hunted by the REPO man.


Our leads are Alexa Vega, very pretty Shilo is born with a blood disease, but she risks it all for the possibility of a cure. The Repo man is played by Anthony Stewart Head who pulls double duty between the sympathetic Father and the Repo Man, forced by Rotti Largo to “take back the parts”. Rotti Largo (Sorvino) tries to play both sides as well, masking himself as a savior, only to be discovered as an underhanded killer.

Trust me when I say this, I never thought that Paris Hilton could be good in anything. She is awesome in this film playing the daughter of Geneco creator Rotti Largo. Good ole’ Amber Sweet (Hilton) is addicted to a form of pain killers and plastic surgery. Bill Moseley doesn’t disappoint either, his portrayal of Luigi Largo is hilarious, just over the top antics similar to Otis from Rejects, and Moseley is great. Orge who plays Pavi Largo is like a modern version of Leatherface, but doesn’t come off like a cheap rip-off. Just a great supporting cast that deliver right from the get go.


Personally, I have a crush on “Blind Mag”, a character that was born blind. Mag is given the ability to see by signing her life away in a contract to sing for GeneCo Genetic Opera. She is marked for repossession and is set to deliver her final performance for the company. This leads to a great ending of reveal told through song, drama and of course, blood.


I never thought I would enjoy any kind of musical this much, especially an Opera…but come on…it’s Horror. The gore factor lacks a little, the effects are very simple but the overall presentation of the landscape, colors and set designs make up for this. The red splashes in combination of the grey and bland tones mix perfect. The futuristic element is not over done but still visually stunning enough to suspend believe. The film was criticized because of its small set scale, I think it provides and extra charm. Repo was designed to be presented on stage, the “feel” of this film transitions nicely.


The Music – I really enjoy the music here, between the Father and Daughter conversations, to the evil Largo singing about his unworthy children. Blind Mag stole my heart; the Grave Robber plays the narrator/pitch man and does a tremendous job. I will be picking up the soundtrack.


Final Word – It’s worth picking up if you enjoyed Rocky Horror and want to see something different. If you are a horror fan, this is a must have. If you are looking for simple cheap thrills and PG-13 crap, skip it and stick to films that have no substance. This film is produced from the people who brought you the Saw films (which have hit or miss in the 6 releases), but I would support Twisted Pictures if a sequel ever came out.

The Soska Twins show our show some LOVE!

Here is what we found on The Soska Twins website yesterday! They loved our show, what's stopping you from watching? Hurry up and check them out, come back and check us out too!!!

DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK checks into the Late Night Horror Hotel...

What, pray tell, you may be asking yourselves, is the "late night horror hotel"? Well, boys and grrls, you are in for a treat. Rob Dimension, John Cannon, and Pigamortis are gents that we twisted twins have a lot in common with; sick yet humorous tastes, a passion for film, and a wicked awesome independent spirit. Their show, Late Night Horror Hotel, ensures thrills and chills, laughs and tears, and even features a devious and delicious cooking segment.

We were absolutely delighted to send gents of our own kind, with demented and gore~geous tastes, our beloved baby, our debut feature, DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK. A special thanks to mister Dimension for reviewing the film.

Want a little taste of what he thought of the Hooker pie...?

"The deeper I dig into the background of this film, the more I am delighted. Female directors and writers are finally getting respect they deserve and the go ahead to release some insane flicks; The Soska Twins, who apparently are very warped, just ripped a big hole in Woman’s Rights in film making. Jen and Sylvia Soska are Canadian twins who, while extremely cute are also, more importantly, extremely gifted. My hats off to them, Dead Hooker in a Trunk will be fully endorsed by me...the movie, that is." ~Rob Dimension, Late Night at the Horror Hotel

Check out their show, EVERY Thursday and Saturday Night at 12 Midnight on Philly's public access television, check out their site here, and check out the film review HERE.

A very special thanks to all the gents at the Late Night Horror Hotel!

XO,
Jen

Rob Dimension finds a Dead Hooker in a Trunk and smiles

Dead Hooker in a Trunk review

by: Rob Dimension

As I shift through my pile of Dvds of yesteryear and today, looking amongst the many to review…one title sticks out: “Dead Hooker in a Trunk”. The title alone makes me smile, for some that will disgust, but come on, we are Horror fans right? Think about it - a dead hooker, hot girls, gore and the simpleness of fishing line re-attaching an arm...how much better can it get?

The deeper I dig into the background of this film, the more I am delighted. Female directors and writers are finally getting respect they deserve and the go ahead to release some insane flicks; The Soska Twins, who apparently are very warped, just ripped a big hole in Woman’s Rights in film making. Jen and Sylvia Soska are Canadian twins who, while extremely cute are also, more importantly, extremely gifted. My hats off to them, Dead Hooker in a Trunk will be fully endorsed by me...the movie, that is.

Dead Hooker in a Truck is one of those little films that could. A small cast of very determined talents and a cleverly written script make this a grand slam, at least for me. Did you ever wake up after a night from partying and not remember how a dead hooker gets into your trunk? Me either, for some...this can be a problem. That’s the premise, but that’s only the start.

Our four characters are The Bad Ass portrayed by Sylvia Soska and her sister the Geek, played by Jen Soska are joined by the Junkie (Rikki Gagne) and Mr. Goody Two Shoes (CJ Wallis) as they try and avoid the Police, a Brutal gang with torture on their mind and an insane Serial killer. Never knowing what’s next for the foursome is what makes this one a winner. Twists and turns and some incredible gore keep you watching, plus a fantastic musical score add to the excitement. The ability to not take themselves serious is also a big winner for me. You can tell that the cast loved making this film, it transfers to film perfectly.

For this being the Soska’s first feature film, I really cannot wait to see what they have coming next. This film is making its way around the Festivals and I will be willing to bet, it will get even more recognition. For more information on the Soska Twins and Dead Hooker in a Trunk, please visit www.twistedtwinsproductions.net –

Here is the trailer. Enjoy!

Life Aquatic….ahhhh zee fishes are so, fish like - Movie Review

Life Aquatic….ahhhh zee fishes are so, fish like.

Do you remember sitting in Science class or even watching the local Public Television Stations as they showed The silent World, Cries for the Deep, Cousteau’s Odysse Series? No? You don’t? Am I the only one? I probably am, but at least I know that you have heard the world famous Jacques Cousteau, the master of the sea, his only rival being that of King Neptune himself. He revolutionized the world of the ocean as we know it and see it to this day. He co-developed the aqua-lung for scuba, and being a scuba diver myself I am eternally grateful to him for the possibilities to explore the undersea world. His ship the Calypso is almost as famous if not as famous as the Flying Dutchman or the Nautilus. He has written, directed and produced numerous movies, books and TV shows all on the world of the water and it’s magnificent undersea ways.

The movie Life Aquatic has nothing to do with any serious undersea work what so ever, it is however a pretty freakin funny comedy. The movies is centered around a man named Steve Zissou, who is the Cousteau of this film, as he travels the world looking for a possibly mythological shark, the jaguar shark who had killed his partner, almost Captain Ahab hunting down his white whale. The many exploits they have while hunting down the shark are absolutely hilarious, with pirates and the braking in of research facility to steal the good equipment and an espresso machine is priceless.

As he sails the sea on his boat the Balafonte he has one thing on his mind, the complete destruction of the jaguar shark, while filming his exploits all at the same time. Oh and did I mention that the investors don’t want the shark dead and his supposed son is trying to build a non-existent relationship all the while the British reporter is drinking and smoking away while being 5 months pregnant.

As well as all the misadventures he has his un-paid interns, his bonds stooge and estranged wife, who is the only one who can remember the Latin names of the fishes for the movie, to contend with on a daily basis. Oh and he has an absolute and fixation for dynamite and willing to do anything to get that great shot for his documentary.

It gives a comedic styling’s to Cousteau and what he has put out over the years. The cast is top notch and without a doubt some of the greatest straight faced comedians, they include such stars as Bill Murray, Jeff Goldblum, Owen Wilson and Willem Dafoe. It is a very intelligent comedy, in the aspect that it’s not direct in your face jokes, but rather a simple and even toned style.

I had seen this film in the video stores years ago and I thought to myself that it really wasn’t anything all that great and I figured it would be a bore fest. However I sat down and watched it one day, mainly because there was nothing better on TV and I didn’t feel like playing the PS3. I started to watch it and within the first 5 minutes I was hooked and I have to watch it all, even going as far as to cancel a physical therapy session just to finish the movie. Is that a sad thing for me to do….to me no, to you maybe, but it just shows how great a movie it is, so check it out.

Be safe and who lives in a pineapple under the sea???
John Cannon

Psychic Kimberly opens The Gates of Hell in this review

The Gates of Hell Review

by: Psychic Kimberly

Of course I'm not psychic, but I will be one on the show. I was told I needed to pull my weight and start reviewing some films, so here we go (btw:I'm the non-bloody one in the picture)

In the summer of 1980, Italian horror film director Lucio Fulci, known as the “godfather of gore”, released in my opinion, one of his best films, “The Gates of Hell”, aka “City of the Living Dead”.  This film was the first in the “Gates of Hell” trilogy and really kicks the Horror into overdrive, almost instantly, between brain ripping action to the elegantly shot scenery, Fulci covers every base with this zombie masterpiece.

In “The Gates of Hell”, Fulci’s approach to opening the gates of hell was pretty unique in the fact that it seemed almost too easy. You can’t help but wonder if it’s actually, if so, has it been done before? Nah, probably not, but imagine the world in the midst of the Zombie Apocalypse, it’s a vision of hope, despair and tragedy. For some, it would become a living Hell, for others, a dream come true.

I think that Fulci portrays the word hell in a different way than most would. Hell in this movie consisted of fleshing eating zombies with super powers. Yes it’s true, super power like abilities; theses Fulci zombies had super strength, teleportation, and levitation…who doesn’t wanna be a Fulci Zombie? Seeing Fulci’s interpretation of Zombies is different and surreal considering the time and era.

After Father William Thomas hangs himself, the Gates of Hell swing open, now it’s a matter of time to close the Gate before All Saints Day. This is a recipe for disaster and let the Zombies hit the floor, as Hell really breaks loose.

Fantastic gore, a decent story and some good ole’ underground dwellings make this a classic Fulci’s Bloodfest, a must see. 

Dimension reviewsThe Descent Part 2

The Descent (2005) caught a lot of people by surprise when it released. I remember getting a ...ahem.."copy" of the this and was pleasantly surprised. Underground caves can be scary on their own, claustrophobia will rear it's ugly head as soon as the walls tighten up on anyone. Remember, breathe and slow your heart rate down...it would never work, I would just flip out. Watching the original, I had the sweaty palms and staggered breathing , just waiting for the next rock to fall.

The Crawlers (the underground dwellers) added even more suspense to the film. Creepy, crawly and just outright gross. Blind with a sense of smell and hearing, the crawlers were out for blood.

The Descent 2 picks up right after part 1. Our heroine, Sarah climbing out of the caves covered in blood finally is rescued. With no memory of the shocking events or her friends horrible deaths, Sarah is questioned by the Sheriff who decides to take her back into the caves. Bad idea....

I, as always will not spoil anything for you, I will lend some simple Horror Movie survival knowledge and somethings to watch for. I enjoyed this movie...too a point. The common sense factor for this goes right out the window right from the start. Everything that wouldn't happen or shouldn't happen..does. Sarah would never be taken out of the hospital, after 2 days and drug back into the caves. The Sheriff and his female deputy know nothing about climbing or survival in the caves and they are joined by 3 experts. 

The biggest uphill battle for this film is that the "closeness" of the cave has already been seen. It's hard for them to add new scares to something that they already exposed in the first one. The Crawlers, the shock value is gone..we know they are down there. The simple glance for a cheap scare is gone...now you have to have a solid story to carry this film. The gore is decent, I hate that the blood looks so reddish...it is almost distracting.

There are some fun scenes, some good scares but just not enough to make this a "BUY"...I kinda rate movies now on if I would plunk down $15 on them. With so many junky films out there, it just is hit or miss. This one is a watch 1 time and maybe again if it's on cable or becomes an instant watch on netflix.

Bottom Line - if you liked the original, at least check this one out. There is a small twist at the end, which can be explained more in a future film (not sure if it will be), but maybe that can add some zest to this series again. A lot of times when you deal with a location that is natural, the viewer can relate but once they have seen it it looses it's fear. There isn't enough "new" scares to make me say "Oh..that was awesome". I really liked the 1st one and would highly recommend that to BUY, the 2nd...maybe a rental.

KMR hits us with an AMAZING Day of the Dead Review

Our friends over at Kaiju Movie Review have given us an amazing review of Day of the Dead. The Classic George A Romero zombie cult favorite, Day of the Dead from 1985 is revered by many as one of the most "spot on" realizations of the Zombie Apocalypse.

Daniel Wickwire proves that he, not only knows Kaiju but is also a fan of the Undead. Have a seat and check out the review. Share your thoughts and stop over to Kaiju Movie Review for Giant Monster news and reviews!!

Pigamortis and his Zombie Pig Pen review - Path of Torment

Pigamortis and his Zombie Pig Pen review - Path of Torment

Ok piglets... this is my first review for the Horror Hotel and i don't wanna disappoint. I do so hate to be negative. Hehehehe. If only Dimension would have given me a better movie for me to review...that nerd.
I would like to first start off by saying that I won't go into any details that could be considered a "SPOILER", because I do support independant films and regardless of my feelings on this film, i commend Gary C. Warren and his cast and crew for making independent horror.

Here we go.

Path of Torment
Written and Directed by Gary C. Warren

# of Deaths: 5 (3 shown on screen)
Best Death: STANLEY


The Plot? Two Bible types come to a quiet, suburban household and for reasons revealed throughout the movie torture the inhabitants and murder their friends and neighbors. I know that is a very general explanation, but this movie was swerving all over the road. I'll give it this much, it's ridiculous first premise, (there are a few in the movie) make you go "WTF?!" but as it goes on, it devolves in simplicity and i think that is the direction it was meant to go and personally think they should have stuck with from the jump.




We start off with a party scene. I LOVE party scenes! ESPECIALLY scenes where its all ADR (Sorry for the tech terms, thats Automated dialogue replacement ) conversations amongst party guest you could only HOPE for psycho killers to come in and murder each and every one of them. For reasons beyond me, (I guess i'm just not smart enough to "get it") there was this blurry effect going on throughout this scene that nearly made me puke, mostly because it was blurring what was already a 1/2bottle of Yukon Jack night.
One of the first of these interactions was between a white guy (who tries to legitimately use the word "WORD")in a conversation with a black fella in a conversation consisting of " Hey, what was the name of that song? You know the one... you gotta fight, for your right to party? or some shit." To which the black fella replies "THAT SHIT WAS TIGHT, CHIEF!" and high fives him.

SERIOUSLY? Then the proceed to drag on the joke of mixing up every 80s rock band. NOONE is that sucky at trivia. This is a very contrasting irony in characters however and is only relevent after we meet... ehhh,we'll get back to that later. Anyway, the party scene goes on and ends with the death of the hunky cop BOBBY ST.CLAIRE. ALL of this BEFORE the credits.
So now our story REALLY begins and starts travelling at break plot speeds down hill with no brakes!
We are now introduced to KEN and ELLEN, our happy couple and Eli and Todd our door to door bible thumpers. Their happy lives all intertwine like a Tarantino movie without the pesky storyline or expensive talent.


Let me take a second to talk about the talent in this movie. Now, i understand the whole low/no budget tactics of filmmaking. You use what is available to you.
SO i can only ASSUME (and this is just my assumption) that the actor who played KEN (Craig Beffa) must have nekkid, incriminating pictures of the Director. Maybe he is a brother-in-law or son of a favorite aunt. Or maybe they just didn't have anyone else for the part, but seriously couldnt they have waited till AFTER they shot the movie to sedate this guy? Ken was blander than a ricecake soaked in water. They cut your finger off, broke your arm and cut all up on you and it barely got the guy to open his eyes all the way. I mean c'mooooon i know the fella who plays Eli throws punches like a bitch (Pigamortis Tip: Get a better punch sound effect) but even Eli's limp wristed punches should have gotten more of a sell from you and your wife.
The worst offense was during a calm conversation between Ken and Todd while Eli is allegedly raping Ellen in the next room. (I say alleged... they explain it in the movie.) Also, i'd like to just go on record to say there is no WAY doughy Ken got Ellen. She was WAY outta his league, but i suspend disbelief for the sake of the movie.


NOW, lets get to the character that although you're supposed to hate him, today's society of people who watch these sort of movies usually end up LOVING, ELI (Writer/Director/Editor/Producer/Star, Gary Warren) I probably would have loved this fella too if all the dialog didnt seem just a lil too contrived and forced. Its obvious Warren loves movies and useless trivia much like i do, however even I got bored of all the tv references. The dialog was trying WAY WAY too hard to be smart assed, flippant and bubbling over with pop culture references. Noone seemed naturally able to "keep up" with Warren's character. Even he seemed to be just go thru the motions in a few scenes and making the references just for the sake of doing it as if trying to fill some pop culture quota. The Spin-off conversation he had with Ellen (his captive, mind you) was just as if 2 folks met up on a match.com date and tried delivering some Kevin Smithian dialog to one another. It just didn't work. The dialog tried, i mean REALLLY tried to be fun, it just fell a little short.
One of the most ironic moments in the movie was when Warren's character after a rather funny rant about how much theatre actors suck says "See? Anyone can act now go fuckin screw..." Not anyone, 90% of your cast can't.



The deaths in the film were reallllly tame and I understand not having a "big budget" but c'mon. I hope FILTHY ROTTEN HORRORS, the FX team responsible for the "GORE" in this movie didn't charge Gary Warren for their services. I used the quotes because aside from Stanly and the corkscrew death, (the Winner of the BEST DEATH IN THE MOVIE award) there was very little gore and the FX were barely passable. They just seemed to not really care. I've seen high school films with better FX. Even the blood was watered down and weak. I'd also like to say to the filmmaker, there is NO way that "Studdering Sideburns" could ever fit in that freezer in the garage.



I would also like to say that I in no way am some politically correct, knee jerk reaction type of pig who gets "grossed out" or "uncomfortable" when things get edgy. That being said, the hanger scene in this movie was really lame. If you're gonna go for that kinda hit, you'd better follow thru and make sure you connect. Unfortunately, you missed by a mile with this scene. Either go big or don't go at all. If you were going to do the scene, at least spill a little of the red stuff, man. I know you're budget was probably limited, but jeez i have a couple of great recipes for cheap stage blood that looks a helluva lot better than what you guys used.
The soundtrack for this movie was decent and all of the songs were fairly decent, I'll even go as far as to say some of the songs were damn catchy. I feel like maybe they tried to cram all the songs in and its variety seemed to jumbled. It went from a catchy lil song to death metal to ska. Much like the movie it was all over the place.







After all of the twists and swerves and flashbacks (completely neccessary by the way)in this movie, the end reveals the true motives of "ELI" and its almost as if I felt better about the movie. I felt like yelling "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DO THIS FROM THE BEGINNING???" It by no means saved this movie, but i couldnt help but smile a bit at the end scene. I was also impressed with the last shot of the film. (Pre credits)


Lest I be irresponsible, i feel i must pass on that this movie DOES come with a message, "Beware the internet!" Heed that message, piglets!