Just when I thought I was done with Exorcisms!!

Just when I thought I was done with Exorcisms!!

Not every day you read that title..but come on..lets talk - 

For me, the religious, exorcisms movies are done to death..probably because, along with Ghost films, I'm just done with them not being done properly. For every Exorcist, there are 20 awful Last Exorcism type films. 

Possession is scary...seriously. It really is! An unknown entity enters your body and takes over, usually for the soul purpose to wreck shit. Your family gets crazy, your body tweaks and you say mean and hurtful things...sounds like the days of being bullied...don't ask, it was painful young years.

Anyways...I have been open about my distain for these films, recently even stating this on the Monster-Mania Radio show. I went to a Catholic school almost my entire learning career...yet, the thing that should scar me the most, actually scares me the least. How can that be?

Last night, I finally caught REC 3, the third installment into the REC franchise. A Spanish franchise that I truly love...truly. The first, spawned the US remake "Quarantine" and honestly, "Quarantine 2", like a zombies on the plane type film wasn't awful...check it out, it's on Netflix...back to REC...so REC, as the story progresses, you see there is more to the story and it becomes a religious/ possession story. REC 2 was another good one. REC 3 had gotten so so reviews...so I went in, almost with my mind made up to NOT like it...well...it wasn't bad.

Does is seem creepy? Well, not really. Is it a farce? Well, not really. I think it's 80 mins of a wedding gone wrong...like that hasn't happened before. It does play out like a zombie film, and the difference is when you see the images of the "possessed" in the mirror. The cure?? It's simple enough and the ending has a great twist. I recommend it..at least on streaming. I bought the first two...I probably will buy this one, because I'm a mental case and need to complete the collection. I know, not much of a review..more like food for thought. I want my Exorcisms scary dammit!!

I also want to say this...I have been infatuated with the theory that Horror films shouldn't have a happy ending. Is killing off your "hero" in the film, really too ballsy of a move? Just curious as to what you think. 

  

The Human Centipede [The First Sequence] - I'll Lead....you Follow

The Human Centipede [The First Sequence]

Reviewed by Rob Dimension

Oh boy...where do I start? I want this review to be exactly as if you and I were just talking about this...nothing to deep, nothing earth shattering...just simple fun with a movie that made Horror fans wait with batted breath for it's release. Hopefully this review is more entertaining than the second half of this film.

To me, the premise is very twisted and down right degrading. If you don't know what the Human Centipede is, let me try and explain. Imagine you, me and another chick (I will imagine that you are a girl, at least for my sanity) are on all fours..you know, hands and knees. Got it so far? Awesome. Next, imagine that your face was stuck to my "pipe hole" (my Heiney area...trying to keep it clean here) and then the other Girl had her mouth attached to your "tail pipe"...therefore, we are now connected, looking like a centipede. Sound lovely? I know...that's why all us crazy Horror fans wanted to see this....especially the first time the lead needs to "pinch a loaf".

The Movie - Honestly, this could have been a short film and I would have loved it. Cut the film when The Doctor, played by Dieter Laser, I will get to him in a minute, rejoices..."Yes, my Centipede...Walk..(kissing the mirror in tears). To me, that was the perfect ending and highly creepy. Let my mind wander about what happens next. I felt that once the Police showed up, the film lost massive steam. Instead of making it more dramatic or intense, it just dragged on. This film is all gimmick and not much story. It's a premise, a truly nasty, gross, highly entertaining premise, but still needed more. Once the Lead and Rear of the Centipede were left...umm...un-responsive, I felt tired.

(This is the obvious Jewelry choice to give to that Special Lady in your life)

The Special Effects and Gore - Surprisingly, for a film this intense and with a highly offensive subject matter, very little gore. Still some, but not as much as I would have expected. If it would have been a short film, the final scene with them connected would have been brilliant. I did see some neat effects but nothing that made me flip out. I'm a Gore-Hound but was left feeling a little like "meh..."

The Acting - I was a HUGE fan of the Doctor, Dieter Laser, in the first half of this feature. I felt that once he lingered on the screen, he just lost his control and it weakened his character. The Asian lead was ok, he really didn't do much, but what could he do? The girls were decent, I actually bought them as friends. I could believe in the way they cared for each other....if it would have been me, I would have bailed when I had the chance....but I'm a douche. In all, the Doctor is the shining star of this film...I especially enjoyed when he was giving his victims a lecture about his "proposed" centipede idea. They were all flippin' out, he still, without losing a beat, continued as if he was lecturing a class on Heart surgery. I also enjoyed his stalking and quiet method of acting.

Would I recommend it - Look, unless I truly hate a film, I rarely bash. I recommend that if you are curious, check it out. I highly recommend that you view this with a few people...the jokes and countless one liners I could think of would make this a MUST have party flick. The hype made this film have to climb uphill just too much. I will definitely check out Part 2 which is supposedly a part of a rumored Trilogy....I have a feeling this will gain some momentum and could even possibly garner an actual Theatrical release. One never knows....watch CLERKS 2, you will forever have the #1 rule in your head..."You never go ass to mouth!"

 

Martyrs movie review - Not for the Feint of Heart!

Martyrs 

Reviewed by Michael K. Snyder

Pascal Laugier’s ­­_­film about abuse, torment, victims and of course, martyrdom is one of my favorite DVDs in m 400+ collection. I love everything about this film from start to finish.  Laugier’s vision is tragic, gore-filled, and deeper than any mainstream horror film in recent memory.

            When I first watched Martyrs, it was when it was first released, and I found it hidden in a local Blockbuster. I had heard of how intense, violent, and gory the film was and I was just really getting into French horror films. So, out of curiosity, I grabbed the DVD, paid the rental fee and went back to my apartment to venture deep into Hell on celluloid.

            At first, the film feels like another Hostel, Saw, or any torture porn films that have seen a spike in acceptance in the past few years. I saw acceptance because back when films like I Spit on Your Grave came out, they were simply considered video nasties. Now, these films are accepting horror film awards worldwide, but that’s a whole other discussion all together.

         

             Pascal does a great job using intrusive filmmaking to keep an uneasy feeling constant throughout the film. Combining these tight, relentless frames with great art direction and a dark color scheme creates an atmosphere that truly gets under your skin. The best part about this entire film is Pascal’s boldness and no-holds barred attitude. He doesn’t care if you don’t like it, and that makes him powerful outside of the “studio” system.

            The acting in Martyrs is excellent, as the actors and actresses truly live their roles. The intensity felt in the two lead actresses performances brings an element of drama to the film that most horror films have never even touched upon. I look forward to seeing more work from the leads.

            Of course, the film will feed any gore-hound, and shock any pregnant mother. It’s level of violence isn’t something we have quite grasped upon here in America. Sure, we have a lot of very violent films and TV shows, but nothing really touches the reality of Martyrs, and not many American directors have the balls to take their films over the line. The subject matter of the film adds to the intensity of the violence in the film, along with amazing special effects.

           
              When it comes down to it, Martyrs is a smart, depressing, gloomy, and sadistic film that wields great acting, directing, and a great screenplay. I thought about the film for days after I first watched it, and after it finally sank in, and I finally understood my own personal meaning behind the film, I bought it.  It’s not for the feint of heart nor is it for the youth, but this is a great example of filmmaking and once again proves that horror films CAN be GOOD films.

Michael K. Snyder is a student filmmaker in Winter Park, Florida. When he's not in class he is working on screenplays, short films, working with Rob and the Late Night Crew and anything film related to keep him busy. He is always looking for work and is currently seeking an agent or any form of representation. If you are interested in working with Michael please email him at mksnyder1990@gmail.com