Loving to Hate Valentine Bliss

Loving to Hate Valentine Bliss

Ah yes, blissfully in love, it's a swell time in anyone's life. Sadly, for some, reading through the endless pages of "I have the greatest_______" just seems like too much to bare. Cupid shot his little arrow and missed you angry little rump, making you an angry, bitter, little trolling turd who hates on all things LOVE!!! Ok, maybe that's a little over the edge. Let's take a look at my little observation yesterday :

The longer I am a part of the Social Media explosion the more I realize people have trouble deciding what the want. I can't tell you how many times I've seen this post:

"If you don't like what I post, get off my page!!"

Sound familiar? You bet it does. Facebook has made it socially acceptable to feel what you post on your page is YOUR "freedom of speech". (insert the Anthem...break out the salute) Your page is your place to write whatever you want!! You can steal all the jokes and make your friends think you're super witty, right? Well, hold back waving the flag there GI No....not just yet. Since your page allows you to post what you want...why would someone else need to silence their love, belief in their spouse or even plans for the night? Really, who gives a shit?

Do some people go overboard? Sure! Is Valentines Day a commercial excuse to spend money, show love and care for your fellow human? Yep, especially since you shouldn't need a holiday to tell someone you care.  Ok, I know...but you say "But Rob, they are flashing their happiness in my face and making me sick!!" Settle down little guy...it's ok.

Some food for thought, before you go spouting off about someone else posting on their wall, remember this -

- You can Delete/Unfriend them
- You don't have to read it
- You can go be happy or sit and wallow in your own bullshit

 You want to piss and moan, do it on your own page. Stop being a miserable prick, if no one else will call you on your bullshit, I will. Go get a significant other, stop excuses and be happy. Other people can be happy. At the end of the day, no one's life is great, we are all suffering....some just choose to suffer less.

Good Day Sir.

Success vs The Not

Success vs The Unsuccessful

I came across this chart/poster that inspired me to write. I often wonder what to classify myself as; since I write almost daily, we will stick with writer. Lately I have been working on my future...when I say that, I mean what will this year hold? Sure, across the last few months I've written out goals for this year but sometimes, things happen and they change the path you follow.

Now, looking at this chart, I can only speak for myself. I can look at both sides and say to myself "I want to be successful". What does that mean? Success can have countless meanings...if you follow this blog, I've written a lot of positives that I've come across. I've shared my personal life on my podcasts and interviews. I sometimes think it's a challenge to get better, so if I put it out there, I now have to work harder to be better. I've never been one to sit and whine about what I should be getting, I just continue forward, work harder and believe in myself.

I've been fortunate, I've been a published writer, online and in magazine print. I've performed on television live and in front of over 10,000 people (and kept my cool). I've developed a podcast following, from both the Extreme Odd Couple Podcast and now Monster-Mania Radio, plus recently, I've written, starred and produced my own film. Were any of things handed to me? Nope...and that's what makes me the happiest. The difference is, Am I satisfied? Nope.

   When looking at the chart, some, including myself have said I'm a little of both. I can agree with that. Let's see what I feel I work the hardest at : Giving Gratitude - I always am thankful for opportunities. Giving Credit - look at any of my articles or even this site, I also am the first to say, I had help and who helped me. Talk about Ideas - constantly, I even have a list of ideas in my phone. I am always thinking of something new and working things out. Share Info and Data - yep, can't tell you how many times I helped people start their own podcasts. Why would I not? Want Others to Succeed - Yepper - look at all my reviews..I share constantly and have no problem with it. As for film making as an example, the battle isn't about each other, we are all in the battle to get Independents more recognition. Accept Responsibility for My Failures - I sure do! Blaming others will get you no where fast. It's the truth. Accept it for what it is..and move on. Our show Late Night at the Horror Hotel failed due to poor planning, poor choices and it can sit on my shoulders. I'm accepting of that. Forgive Others - this is a tough one, as everyone wants to hold a grudge. I can say this - if you burn the bridge between us, my decision making about things having you involved will be different for the future. I've given people plenty of second chances...call me gullible. Most times, I just move forward and worry about me...but it can be hard at times.

Now, what do I need to work harder on? Fly by the Seat of my Pants - hahaha...who hasn't? I think as I've gotten older, I strive to put plans into motion but I think sometimes, it just happens. Watch TV Everyday - No doubt about it...I am a TV junkie. I watch a lot of movies...but, honestly, in a lot of instances, I am trying to learn. I look for new camera angles, the use of shadow, how people edit, placement of shot or even how one movie pulls me in more than another. 

Someone had mentioned - Keeping a Journal - well, I consider this blog as my journal. I often write about a thought, an inspiration, reviews, personal experiences or whatever. Also, I podcast...this is where I have shared everything with complete strangers. The nearly 30,000 listeners that I can't thank enough, get to hear me talk about Horror, my life, share times with my best friend and even my own failures. I have no problem with passing along info. I've gotten emails from people that have said "Rob, your talks about marriage helped saved my own marriage". Or even people asking for advice. My response is simple "Be the best you can be...believe in yourself." I didn't help save anything..YOU helped save it..if you didn't want it saved, it wouldn't have been. 

I encourage people to look at the chart, don't focus on one or two specifics...focus on the general idea of being a better person. 

The Internet WILL accept YOU!

The Internet WILL accept YOU!

Last night I watched another episode of the Mtv show titled "Catfish". Its a look at online romances and trying to connect people that have gotten wrapped up in an online love affair. So far, it never works. I'm sure they will have a few episodes that will have happy endings but most are disappointments, which in my opinion...sucks.

For one, being someone you're not online is never going to amount to anything. Posing as someone is just laughable at best, in some cases it's downright mean. If you think that cyber bullying is bad now, wait until you're discovered to be a fraud. Let's look at real life, no one likes a liar. I understand that people are unhappy with their "real life" so they can escape to the net and not be judged, plus experience a totally different life. Is that what you really want?

I will use the easiest example...me. I know me, chances are, depending if you listen to my podcasts, read my blogs, YOU know an outline of what I'm about. Is everything in my life good? Nope....just like you, I have self doubt, I look for acceptance, I have money problems, social anxiety's and the list just continues. Yesterday I talked about passion in person, I believe that if you are genuine in life, you will find people that you belong with. Not everyone is going to have a great day, not everyone will get that big promotion...sometimes, you watched a funny tv show, you had a great hamburger or you might have missed your bus...who knows...it's YOU.

I never understood the philosophy of shitting on everything online. When someone tweets "And No fucks were given"....what does that even mean? I have said it before, opinions are just that...opinions. It's a big turn off when you read open negativity. Hell, my life had some very rough patches, at times, I even wanted to give up....honestly, stepping away from the online negativity and nonsense helps. Chances are, you have been judged in life and there is even a better chance that you didn't like it. So why be "that guy" that constantly thinks the negativity is going to get you somewhere? Here is a newsflash - NO ONE that was negative, ever got anywhere...EVER.

This brings me back to the Catfish show, it's honestly a guilty pleasure of mine. My biggest pet peeves are: The perfect person never exists. Everyone has flaws. True love and real friendship will help you see past those flaws and allow you to accept who that person really is. Also, creating a fake profile of someone who is attractive will NEVER have a positive outcome. As humans, we need to be social. Do you think if the person on the other end is attracted to you, will be happy with never meeting you? Plus, what kind of life is that? Human touch, spending time and creating memories is what life is all about. 

The saying of "It's what's on the inside that counts" has never been more true, plus no one ever says "Its what's online that counts". Some of the hottest people can have some of the ugliest attitudes. Sure, she might be hot, but what a bitch! I'm not talking about just "hating" on her...I mean like rolling my eyes at how mean and cruel she could be. (I just use she as an example, not anyone in particular) If we all know that life is a challenge, why add negativity too it. I totally understand that expressing yourself online is a release for some, but get a grip on things.

For today, post something positive. If you want more interaction in social media, then interact. Sometimes it's up to you to make a comment or engage the conversation. Take a minute and see if you come off negative, if you do...change that. The holiday season is upon us (I am not a Holiday guy..but for my Wife, I'm gonna be) and maybe it's time to spread some cheer, say hello and add a new friend. Drop the grudge, stop the lying and be positive....you might be surprised with the results.

Accomplishments comes in many forms.

Accomplishment comes in many forms.

I ended that title with a period because I believe it's a statement, not necessarily a title. Each day in each of our lives, we each make our own accomplishments. Regardless of how small or even, how big, we can see a positive in ourselves.  

What a difference a year makes. The other day I had a moment of clarity, I sent my pal, Steve Corino, a text message "Hey, just wanted to thank you for helping me through the shittiest time of my life." It was random, out of the blue and his response "You're welcome". I have exposed my personal life online and on our Podcast "XOC Podcast" with the hopes that maybe it would help someone else who was struggling. My struggle came from within. I hit 40 and was a depressed mess. My family was almost lost, my life was almost lost...I had no direction.

A change needed to be made; I sat down on my laptop and wrote No Clowning Around. It was a short horror/drama film that is full of personal metaphors. Its an inner battle, a battle that I decided to stand up against. I am, in no way, any spokesperson for depression, I just realized if I wanted my life better, I needed to make it happen...no one else would do it.

The saying "What a difference a year makes" has never rang so true for me. Yesterday, I went to pick up the final edit of No Clowning Around; a movie that everyone involved, believed in, worked hard on and gave their heart too. It was a lonely hour and a half ride home as the Dvd sat on my passenger seat. It stared at me; it made me doubt myself, it made me anxious, nervous and made me feel exposed. 

I pulled up to my house and sat out front, just thinking. Thinking of the journey, I can only assume it would be like seeing the finish line of a marathon, but since I'm a lazy turd, I can only assume. I unlocked my door, walked in and of course, I had too pee, since I suffer from Old Man Bladder, but quickly gave it a shake and headed to my Dvd player. As the menu appeared, I could only feel excitement build.

I sat and watched for the next 30 minutes, enjoying something I had helped create. For many, the metaphors will go unseen, but I created this for me. It was me taking my life back. It was me taking a stand against the demons that try to poison our mind, it was that moment in my life that I will never forget.  Even as I type this, I'm teary eyed. The feeling was similar to seeing my children for the first time, it was a overwhelming mix of emotions.

As the movie progressed, I began to have tears stream down my cheeks, but for once, it wasn't because of disappointment or self doubt, it was because I was proud. It was an accomplishment. I reached a goal and no one will ever take that away from me. Sure, the movie will go unseen by many, some will think its shitty, but there will be a few that will enjoy it. I look back at this as a monumental moment in my life. People make movies everyday, people accomplish goals everyday but, it's up to YOU to recognize that moment. You have to work for it.

I am no motivational speaker, I'm only someone who stood on the edge and didn't jump. As the weekend approaches, let me encourage you - take a minute for yourself and make yourself better. Let the negativity go...work hard, if for nothing else, for just YOU. You control your outlook on life, everyone gets in a rut, take your life back. Be the best you can be...accomplish YOUR goal today. Don't worry about the haters...they hate because they are scared to risk being successful. Success is in your heart.

Thank you to those who believed in me, you made this possible.