Keeping Positive & Some Advice?

Keeping Positive & Some Advice?

Trust me, before we even start, it's impossible to always be positive. Life throws some serious curve balls and sometimes you will feel abandoned, alone or betrayed. It's during those moments that we all have to mourn and move on and realize the sun does rise and shine another day. I wanted to offer some things that I do or have done to help me keep a fresh outlook:


Start eating better - Food...this can alter your mood dramatically. Eating healthy can clear your mind and help creativity. I have more energy, sleep better and notice I want to write more. Its amazing how once I cut all the processed foods and fast food garbage out of my diet, things became clear and less cloudy. Sure, you have to indulge and eat some crap sometimes but the benefits outweigh the "cravings". When eating bad, I wrote less, moved less and wanted to sleep more. Now I want to create and have fun. It works..I promise.

Stop watching the news - Ok, sure we all need the news in our life but trust me when I say this...most of the news is trash. I don't care about these other families or most of the TMZ style news reporting, I care more about my own family and whats good in my own community. Fear and controversy equal ratings...positivity does not. Its the truth. So stay away from the news, or watch what really matters. You'll be happier you did. Go for a walk, go enjoy the sunshine and live your life.


Choose better friends & limit Social Networking - Yep, coming from someone who claims to be a social networking guru, I am in fact telling you to limit social media. For many its an obsession and at times, I fall into the same trap, but I now seem to post and walk away. I post less, interact less and spend more time with my family. People don't really care what you're eating, doing or hanging with. They care if YOU care what THEY are doing. Hey, someone has to tell you the truth. I go on in the morning, maybe around lunch and then at night. Typically, unless someone messages me or posts on my wall, I don't see much anymore.

Go Outside - Go outside, go for a walk and enjoy the air. Regardless where you live, you can get yourself to a nice park. Sit outside and clear your mind, let the natural vitamins help you and refresh you. Sitting inside can lead to boredom, sleep, snacking, being lazy. Even if you're sitting on a bench, next to a nice lake, surrounded by natural surrounding, you will be happier. It's amazing what just some fresh air can do. I've started to walk around my town and taking the longest way, actually getting some sort of work out, by just being active. I've noticed I started taking pictures and learning more about our town...been here for 17 years and learning more now than ever.

Anyways, those are some tips that help me...they might not help you, but I wanted to exercise my brain by writing and doing something. Now, I'll eat a lunch and then head out for the day. Enjoy life, its the only one we get!

Jealousy and why it doesn't work

Jealousy and why it doesn't work

Being in entertainment, I have felt jealousy and dealt with jealousy. Jealousy is really just our own insecurities coming to the surface. It could be fueled by someone doing something similar, maybe something that's done better or sometimes it's just because "I wish I thought of it first". I have dealt with it but as you get older you quickly realize...jealousy just gets in the way. Focusing on a negative doesn't work...ever.

Let me use this as an example - I see some filmmakers just outright blasting others or not supporting, based on jealousy. Now, having said that, let's also note that some people are assholes and shouldn't be supported. On the flip side, I encourage a lot of people to make movies and make them better. Why? Because as a fan of the Horror genre I WANT things better. I almost feel that on an Independent level we are sometimes cast aside or even ignored because of the subpar quality work that has been done...but...let's also not forget those that have laid the ground work for people to become better. There is a huge difference between bad and working with what was available at the time. A good eye is still a good eye, regardless.

It pains me when I don't see a lot of filmmakers working together, even supporting each others projects. Maybe because I started as a reviewer and made it common practice to promote others. Just being negative or talking down others to hope elevate yourself is a lose, lose situation. It draws negative attention to yourself while making the genre pool look bad. I handle this the way I handled my reviews...if I'm not a fan, I opt to not talk about it..but if I AM a fan, then I will gladly help promote it. Standing on the sidelines, being jealous will never accomplish anything. 

Other people have podcasts..some better some worse...other people have short films, some amazing stuff, some just thrown together in their backyard. I want people to elevate their game...it only helps everyone. It pushes others to be better...isn't that what you want? Don't you, as a creator what to be the best you can be? That's what I want. I will always support those who support others. I will always be there to pat them on the back when they've done as great job...even if it's not needed. Negativity just hampers things...sure, it's natural, but let's work harder to raise the bar. I want to be my best, I want to work with others that have the same goal...I want to be positive.

Anyways..that's my rant for the day...go be your best!

The Internet WILL accept YOU!

The Internet WILL accept YOU!

Last night I watched another episode of the Mtv show titled "Catfish". Its a look at online romances and trying to connect people that have gotten wrapped up in an online love affair. So far, it never works. I'm sure they will have a few episodes that will have happy endings but most are disappointments, which in my opinion...sucks.

For one, being someone you're not online is never going to amount to anything. Posing as someone is just laughable at best, in some cases it's downright mean. If you think that cyber bullying is bad now, wait until you're discovered to be a fraud. Let's look at real life, no one likes a liar. I understand that people are unhappy with their "real life" so they can escape to the net and not be judged, plus experience a totally different life. Is that what you really want?

I will use the easiest example...me. I know me, chances are, depending if you listen to my podcasts, read my blogs, YOU know an outline of what I'm about. Is everything in my life good? Nope....just like you, I have self doubt, I look for acceptance, I have money problems, social anxiety's and the list just continues. Yesterday I talked about passion in person, I believe that if you are genuine in life, you will find people that you belong with. Not everyone is going to have a great day, not everyone will get that big promotion...sometimes, you watched a funny tv show, you had a great hamburger or you might have missed your bus...who knows...it's YOU.

I never understood the philosophy of shitting on everything online. When someone tweets "And No fucks were given"....what does that even mean? I have said it before, opinions are just that...opinions. It's a big turn off when you read open negativity. Hell, my life had some very rough patches, at times, I even wanted to give up....honestly, stepping away from the online negativity and nonsense helps. Chances are, you have been judged in life and there is even a better chance that you didn't like it. So why be "that guy" that constantly thinks the negativity is going to get you somewhere? Here is a newsflash - NO ONE that was negative, ever got anywhere...EVER.

This brings me back to the Catfish show, it's honestly a guilty pleasure of mine. My biggest pet peeves are: The perfect person never exists. Everyone has flaws. True love and real friendship will help you see past those flaws and allow you to accept who that person really is. Also, creating a fake profile of someone who is attractive will NEVER have a positive outcome. As humans, we need to be social. Do you think if the person on the other end is attracted to you, will be happy with never meeting you? Plus, what kind of life is that? Human touch, spending time and creating memories is what life is all about. 

The saying of "It's what's on the inside that counts" has never been more true, plus no one ever says "Its what's online that counts". Some of the hottest people can have some of the ugliest attitudes. Sure, she might be hot, but what a bitch! I'm not talking about just "hating" on her...I mean like rolling my eyes at how mean and cruel she could be. (I just use she as an example, not anyone in particular) If we all know that life is a challenge, why add negativity too it. I totally understand that expressing yourself online is a release for some, but get a grip on things.

For today, post something positive. If you want more interaction in social media, then interact. Sometimes it's up to you to make a comment or engage the conversation. Take a minute and see if you come off negative, if you do...change that. The holiday season is upon us (I am not a Holiday guy..but for my Wife, I'm gonna be) and maybe it's time to spread some cheer, say hello and add a new friend. Drop the grudge, stop the lying and be positive....you might be surprised with the results.

Accomplishments comes in many forms.

Accomplishment comes in many forms.

I ended that title with a period because I believe it's a statement, not necessarily a title. Each day in each of our lives, we each make our own accomplishments. Regardless of how small or even, how big, we can see a positive in ourselves.  

What a difference a year makes. The other day I had a moment of clarity, I sent my pal, Steve Corino, a text message "Hey, just wanted to thank you for helping me through the shittiest time of my life." It was random, out of the blue and his response "You're welcome". I have exposed my personal life online and on our Podcast "XOC Podcast" with the hopes that maybe it would help someone else who was struggling. My struggle came from within. I hit 40 and was a depressed mess. My family was almost lost, my life was almost lost...I had no direction.

A change needed to be made; I sat down on my laptop and wrote No Clowning Around. It was a short horror/drama film that is full of personal metaphors. Its an inner battle, a battle that I decided to stand up against. I am, in no way, any spokesperson for depression, I just realized if I wanted my life better, I needed to make it happen...no one else would do it.

The saying "What a difference a year makes" has never rang so true for me. Yesterday, I went to pick up the final edit of No Clowning Around; a movie that everyone involved, believed in, worked hard on and gave their heart too. It was a lonely hour and a half ride home as the Dvd sat on my passenger seat. It stared at me; it made me doubt myself, it made me anxious, nervous and made me feel exposed. 

I pulled up to my house and sat out front, just thinking. Thinking of the journey, I can only assume it would be like seeing the finish line of a marathon, but since I'm a lazy turd, I can only assume. I unlocked my door, walked in and of course, I had too pee, since I suffer from Old Man Bladder, but quickly gave it a shake and headed to my Dvd player. As the menu appeared, I could only feel excitement build.

I sat and watched for the next 30 minutes, enjoying something I had helped create. For many, the metaphors will go unseen, but I created this for me. It was me taking my life back. It was me taking a stand against the demons that try to poison our mind, it was that moment in my life that I will never forget.  Even as I type this, I'm teary eyed. The feeling was similar to seeing my children for the first time, it was a overwhelming mix of emotions.

As the movie progressed, I began to have tears stream down my cheeks, but for once, it wasn't because of disappointment or self doubt, it was because I was proud. It was an accomplishment. I reached a goal and no one will ever take that away from me. Sure, the movie will go unseen by many, some will think its shitty, but there will be a few that will enjoy it. I look back at this as a monumental moment in my life. People make movies everyday, people accomplish goals everyday but, it's up to YOU to recognize that moment. You have to work for it.

I am no motivational speaker, I'm only someone who stood on the edge and didn't jump. As the weekend approaches, let me encourage you - take a minute for yourself and make yourself better. Let the negativity go...work hard, if for nothing else, for just YOU. You control your outlook on life, everyone gets in a rut, take your life back. Be the best you can be...accomplish YOUR goal today. Don't worry about the haters...they hate because they are scared to risk being successful. Success is in your heart.

Thank you to those who believed in me, you made this possible.