Keys to Being Successful in Social Media
by: Social Media Guru, Rob Dimension
Nearly a year has passed
since I've updated this outline to help one be successful in social media.
Twitter has become my main source of communication to many, as well as
podcasting to the masses. My podcasting listener base (Between Monster-Mania Radio and The
XOC Podcast, both available on iTunes and Stitcher Radio) have my voice being
heard by 15,000 - 25,000 minimum, per week, combined. Now, too some, not that impressive, to
someone who knows me, it’s dangerous.
Facebook has created too
many hurdles to keep your audience in touch with you. “Promoting” your
stories and losing the ability to be seen has made Facebook virtually useless.
I notice I get a lot of the same people to comment which means a majority of
people just aren't seeing the feed. I have found a small loophole in “pages”
and getting “likes” but, that information comes with a price…..so no freebies
here.
In today's Social Media,
between Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Tout, Instagram and now even Klout (I have a 65 score, so I'm Influential and a bit of a leader...so
listen up)it’s hard to stand
out, be accepted and more importantly, be heard. Never fear, as I, the Social
Media Guru, Rob Dimension is here to help you gain more followers, attract
more friends and not be a doucher.
Let's get things straight,
Girls will always be successful online because guys are horny and have no real
sense of reality. Things like photoshop, eyeliner and boobs help their cause.
As guys, we are grunts; we are slaves to our own penis. We lust women online,
hoping for a follow, friend request or nip slip. Although, word to the girls,
the duck lips pose is over, plus, taking photos of yourself in your bathroom,
while the toilet is within the shot; big mistake…especially if there is a “turd
in the punchbowl” (so to speak).
Let's get the terms NOT to
use out of the way first:
Bro - for years, the term Bro was thought of as a friendly,
brotherly term...well, as a Guru of the Social Media networks, I am here to
tell you...it's awful. Being in the Professional Wrestling business, it's a
term that is thrown around, from one to another to create this imaginary bond
between each other. It does nothing. It doesn't make me like you, if anything;
I makes me realize how shallow you are. I think of it as a condescending
term...I loathe Bro. Do your friends, co-workers and anyone else that believes
you are a smug asshole a favor...stop with the Bro. I have a fkn name..Use it.
Hun - ugh...let me be the voice of reason - You will NOT get laid
calling a girl, Hun. Most Women, ok, maybe Women that have some dignity will
think you're a tool for using the term Hun. If you are not 80 years
old Grandmother who enjoys peanut brittle, you have NO business using the
word. I have come to a conclusion, if you are a low life pervert who thinks he
is above Women; this is the way you talk down to them. Have some self respect,
if you use it...STOP..or if you're a female and a guy calls you that, stop them
and remind them that you are not a cheap whore and they have 0 chance to get
laid.
Welp - I jokingly "banned" this word on my highly
intellectual podcast "The Extreme Odd Couple Podcast" found at http://www.xocpodcast.com/ but,
in all sincerity I really meant it. Upon my investigation, it was supposed to
shorten the word "well"...let's count letters...WELP is 4 and WELL is
4. In essence, I believe this word was handed down to as the 1st step to the
downfall of mankind. Let's take a closer look; "Well, I really believe I
like that shirt" does sound like you've made a decision and are sure about
what you like. Now, "Welp, I really believe I like that shirt" sounds
like you are 7 yrs old, live in Mayberry and possibly download kiddie porn.
Follows and Retweets!
Follows - Twitter
is my social media of choice, as it makes life much easier. Facebook is
clogged, glitchy and is the equivalent to what MySpace was with bands
near their end. I hardly ever go on, unless someone posts on my wall, which I
generally delete unless it's a compliment...(because
I'm self absorbed, yet needy)
On Twitter, it's not
uncommon for someone to ask "Can I get
a follow?", which I
usually respond with "No, but you can get a Block".
While some think that's mean, I feel it's YOU, the begger, being a bit of a
bully, making me feel less manly by feeling the need to give into peer
pressure. Someone has to take a stand! I tend to look at my new followers (remember...I'm self absorbed) and see if they're
legit, share interests and if they are Hot. Myself, I tend to follow
my friends or people who I've met or even influences. Trust me, I'm no Mr.
Popular but I'm content with what I have...I would be less depressed if I have
2,000 followers at the end of Feb, but I'm just being needy. Don't ask for
Follows...don't be Dumb! #DUMB
Team
Follow Back – a term and hashtag we have all grown to hate. First, let me
explain the theory; people that use #TeamFollowBack usually don’t follow back,
they are typically lonely assholes who like to spam everyone with their feeble
attempt to gain more followers at your expense. I have instituted #TeamBlock, a hashtag I coined to “help
fight the power”. I usually quote the tweet and respond with “BLOCK”, then
proceed to block the sender and names attached. This helps eliminate any
further tweets from these turds.
The “Interview”/Mass
Tweeting No-No – From time to time, someone will want to promote themselves,
their show or possible ask for an interview; this is ok, I have no problem with
people reaching out to promote. My problem is when the tweet is a spam/mass
mailing “Hey Bud, how about an interview for my website?” – You go to this
person’s Twitter and notice A) they have 13 followers (Instant Red Flag). You
quickly realize they have 0 reach and it’s a waste of your time. B.) They have
sent this same exact Tweet to 45 others in front of you. This is wrong on every
level…nearly as wrong as “buying followers” (discussed below). If you are genuinely
in interviewing the person, take the additional few minutes, be polite and ask
properly.
Retweet - The 2nd laziest feature in Social
Media...right after the "Like" button on Facebook. NEVER ask for
a retweet...EVER. This throws up the red flag to all around you (unless of course, I ask for one) that you are a Turd. No
one wants to be a copycat...the retweet, in the simplest form, is a blatant
copy. I've been labeled a "Retweeting
Whore" on occasions but I also torrent music, so my bed is made.
I'm here to shed light on Social Media problems, not fix mine.
Retweet's can be fun,
especially when you're offered a compliment or in my case, an insult…hey, I don’t
take it too serious. It allows your "friends" to see that you've
fooled others. They obviously haven't read my guide or are new to Twitter. If
you really want to make a statement, write a tweet; then let your friends
decide if they want to retweet it. It's a new thing called Free Thinking.
Hastag #RetweetWhore if your friend is guilty!
Buying
Followers – Yes, this does exist and is the closest to “buying friends”. Followers
can be bought: usually 1,000 for about $15-30 depending on where you go. Want to
see if someone has bought followers? It’s easy to detect; go to their followers
and look for people who have less than 8-10 tweets, follow about 1,000 people
and have no followers. They usually tweet nonsense and typically have no
picture or if they do, it’s very generic. Let’s keep in mind, Barack Obama has
been accused of doing this, so has Mitt Romney.
The theory behind the fake
followers – studies have proven, initially, the more followers you have, the
more of a measure of success you have. People within entertainment with more
followers, tend to be given a job over people with fewer followers. Are you a
leader or a follower? The downside to this; followers do not equate purchases
or sales, remember; these are fake. Plus, how much respect is lost when you are
ousted as a “buyer”?
